In Between Nightmares and Reality
by Lore-ShipperSister
Summary: In the miind of Faith Yokas... pay close attention or you may get a little confuzzled


"Come on Bosco.. BREATHE!.. Oh God please don't take him from me… BREATHE DAMIT BOSCO!"

My hands slip on all the vital blood that Bosco is loosing as I fight to get my breath into his broken body, in between breathing for him and chest compressions I start to feel that its all in vain.. that my Bosco, my best friend, is dead. Cruz comes into the room and between the two of us we get him on to a gurney and to medical aid, but its useless Bosco is dead, they are just working on him to make me feel better, this might just be all for me, but then I hear the faint beep of the heart monitor and I know that there is some blood that is not on the floor.. there is still some blood left in his body for his heart to pump out.

Its all I can do to keep myself standing upright, my knees want to buckle and I want to sink to the floor in a fit of sobs that I know is just waiting to come out. I am surrounded by a scene of chaos, people dead on the floor, bullet holes in the walls, glass shards everywhere and the blood.. it's the blood that gets me, because unless I see him come walking out the door to greet me, Bosco is dead, he was shot in the head, nobody can live though that, at least live and be the same way after.

Jelly walks by me, I didn't even realize that he was there and then I remember Davis telling me that Wynn and Dombowski were dead, so was most of Cruz's Anti-Crime team, we had all been ambushed by Donald Mann, and I have a feeling that it had something to do with our involvement with his son's death. Jelly gets to the desk and starts bitching about what happened in the ER.. and then he starts bitching about how he has to clean his gun, about how he hates cleaning his gun..

"I gotta clean my damn gun now. You know how much I hate to clean my gun. And look at my new suit."

Is that all that Jag-off can think about.. Himself?. There has to be at least dead and countless others wounded and I don't even know how the hell Davis and Monroe are I haven't seen them yet hell for all I know they could be dead or dying as I stand here waiting, and on top of that they just took Bosco upstairs either dead or fighting for his life… and all he can think about is himself! It came out of me before I had the chance to stop it..

"Jelly, they just took my partner upstairs with four bullets in him. Get over yourself."

I had to walk away after that, and feeling a little relieved when I see the forms of Davis and Monroe behind the window in the staff lounge.

"Faith, Faith! Faith wake up"

My eyes snap open and I realize that I had been fast asleep, looking around frantically and calling for Bosco the voice replies,

"He's awake remember? He woke up a couple of weeks ago, they are discharging him this afternoon and if you want to make it you had better get going missy.. you have been here for two days"

I look around the room and see that I had passed out cold on my desk, papers everywhere from the latest case I had been working on, my coffee still ½ full on the side of the desk, defiantly cold by now and the voice that I had been hearing had been Jelly's, he is standing beside me with a Styrofoam cup in his hand that is steaming. I cant see a clock anywhere, at least one that works, the one on the wall has been telling the wrong time ever since I got this desk.

"Jelly, what time is it?"

He looks at me like I walked off the last bus from Crazyville and then looks at his watch.

"Its almost noon Faith, they are discharging your partner at 3, Swersky told me that you have the rest of the day off so get outta here!"

Getting sleepily to my feet I have to shake my head to remind myself that it was all in the past.. that Bosco by some love of God survived being hit 4 times, including the one in the face, and I feel that little ball in the bottom of my stomach as I realize that he took them trying to save me, if he hadn't grabbed me and pulled me out of the line of fire.. I wouldn't be here, I would have nothing, hell I would be dead and my children that I had been fighting so hard to keep would be without a mother.

"Hey Jelly do ya think you could give me a ride to my place? I gotta grab a shower and change out of these clothes"

Grumbling about how this would cause him to miss his lunch Jelly picks up the keys to the RMP and I follow him down to the car. Climbing into the passenger side I put on my seatbelt and let my head fall back against the side of the window, closing my eyes my face feels wet, and then I realize that I am looking down at the red washing down the drain, Bosco's blood… choking back a sob I look in the mirror and I see Swersky standing behind me, looking with that fatherly concern that I have grown to love him as, Swersky has always been a second father to me well more of a father than mine ever was, he was always looking out for us, making sure we were safe, we were his kids… he enters the room where I am trying to wash the blood off my clothes, out of my hair and off my face, I seem to be covered in it and I cant seem to get it off.. but I have to tell Rose about Bosco,

"Monroe said you were going to see his mother. I can tell her"

"It should come from me."

She has to know and I don't want someone else telling her, it should come from me, at least she knows me better than she would anyone else who came to tell her that her only remaining son could too be dead…

"He's gonna make it, Faith."

How the hell would he know he didn't see the blood drenched shirt that the doctors cut off him.. he didn't see he beautiful face marred by the bullet that had my name written all over it…

"You didn't see him."

"He's Bosco."

I know he's Bosco but even Bosco is mortal.. and from what I saw if he survives this it will be an act of god..

"He's not Superman."

"Faith… time to get out Faith.. were here and I gotta get back to work so outta the car"

Jelly's voice brings me back to reality and I see that I am outside that familiar building and the sense of security comes back to me as I know I am home and that Bosco is still alive… Getting out of the car I thank Jelly and start fishing for my keys, as soon as I close the door I hear his tires squeal off and I am left with my thoughts.

Letting myself into the apartment I feel a strange twinge of sadness as I realize that I am the only one here.. Fred is gone and so is Charlie.. Em is at school and the place seems so empty without them, Emily came back to live with me so at least I have her, even after all the fighting that we did she still chose to come and live with me, I was so happy to see her there that night.. she is the one of the only things still holding me together in this nightmare that became my life.

Peeling the clothes off my body I walk down the hall to the linen closet and grab a fresh towel, wrapping it around my body I head towards the bathroom and step into the shower, closing my eyes as the water washes over my body I breath a tired sigh. Opening them again I realize that I am standing in front of the ICU room and before me lies Rose, intubated and still groggy from surgery her neck is bandaged from where that Grace woman performed a tracheotomy, and I feel the lump in my belly grow because I know that I have to be the one to tell her about her son.. I have to tell her the devastating news that her beloved Maurice was mortally wounded trying to save me..

Walking into her room and sitting on the side of her bed I take her hand, she looks up at me and immediately she knows that something is wrong.. call it mother's intuition but she knows that something is defiantly not right.. Bosco is missing.. if I had come to see how she was doing Bosco would have been with me, in fact knowing that Bosco's relationship with his mother is so strong nothing could tare him away from it is proof enough that he would be waiting by her side till she woke up.. Taking a deep breath I look at her and its now or never, she has to know and the news has to come from me.

"Rose. Something happened downstairs. Maurice…these men came into the hospital. They were--- they were looking to hurt us and um…they shot him. And he's in surgery. I'm so sorry."

I couldn't help it I started to cry, it was heartbreaking to hear his mother try and cry with a tube down her throat.. I think that I shed enough tears for both of us in the time that I was there.. but I had other things to take care of.. things that I had to do for my best friend.. the only person that I could turn to when I needed someone to talk to..

The water is getting cold.. shivering a little I turn off the water and step out of the tub and onto the cold linoleum floor. Drying myself off with the towel I pad across the hallway to my room and open the closet, I find myself looking mindlessly over combinations of clothes and wondering to myself if Bosco would like to see me in them, I finally decide on the combo that I got from Nicole that one time we were in her store, I noticed that Bosco liked it so hell I might as well wear it.. I didn't get much of a chance to wear it anyhow cause Fred sure as hell never appreciated it. I suddenly become aware of the time and looking at the clock I see that I have two hours to get to the hospital, throwing the clothes as I head back to the bathroom to blow dry my hair.

Cruz just dove into the pool, her air bubbles rise to the surface as she swims over to the floating corpse of Mann, the gun is still resting in my hand, its Bosco's off duty piece, the one that I gave him for our 10th anniversary. Cruz bursts through the surface of the pool and hauls herself to the side, she throws a set of handcuffs aside and looks at me.. she then takes out a knife and throws it into the pool…

"What are you doing?"

"He drew a knife and tried to stab me, so you shot him."

No that wasn't true.. I had to kill him… he killed the only part of me that ever really meant something aside from my kids.. he killed my best friend, he killed my partner. The only person who ever really cared about me..

"I shot him because he killed my partner."

"He was already in custody."

I saw the cuffs I knew what I was doing…

"I know."

I knew exactly what I was doing, I exacted revenge for Bosco..

"Say it. He drew and tried to stab me."

I wasn't going to go along with this.. I wasn't going to let her lie to protect me.. she knew what I was doing too…

"Stay out of this."

"You shot a handcuffed prisoner."

"I know what I did. I don't care."

I didn't care I just wanted to kill the man who killed the only thing that was a constant in my life… I wanted to take care of that… I had to take care of it for Bosco.. at least I knew I did something about it and I didn't just stand by and let it happen..

My hand feels hot and I snap back to reality and realize that I was still holding my hairdryer and its getting hot in my hand.. and my hair is close to being singed. Looking at the clock I see that I have an hour to get to the hospital. Putting some make up on I head out the door, picking up a set of car keys on the way out the door..

"When will he be able to go back to work?"

Looking at the doctor and then glancing back to the form in the bed, breathing off a respirator I can only hope that my partner was going to be all right, that as soon as he is ready to get outta here he is going to be back with me in David.. we can be together again and put all this behind us.. and then that's when the bomb hit..

"Officer Yokas, your partner's never going back to work. I mean, he'll be lucky if he can walk, talk, or feed himself. I'm sorry."

Fumbling with the keys I slide one into the door lock and then sliding into the passenger seat that I never had to adjust, I slide the other key into the ignition and turn over the engine relishing in is throaty purr, if I was going to get Bosco and bring him home.. it might as well be in his beloved Mustang. Putting it into gear I take off for the hospital.


End file.
